My Transition from Childhood to Adulthood

The moment I felt as if I was an adult happened when I was fourteen. My little cousin, Thomas was born and I fell in love with him. He is the sweetest little boy now and was the cutest baby. My aunt pulled me aside one day and asked me to be his godmother. Although I am catholic, I don't practice the religion as much as I used to but I still accepted the honor whole heartedly. This moment made me feel really special and important to my family. I wanted people to see me as a responsible person who people could rely on even though I was young. When I was asked to be the godmother, it definitely made me feel that way. Then the ceremony happened where I became his official godparent. I felt so old at that moment and also needed by this innocent baby. But at that point after the ceremony, godparent or not, I needed to set a good example for this kid. I see him almost every Sunday when visiting my dad which lets us maintain a really great relationship. It makes me the happiest when I walk into his house and his face lights up with a little smile. I guess it just truly fascinates me how innocent he is and how life is the craziest thing in his mind. It makes me feel so mature and experienced when in reality, I am still just a teenager who has no clue what the real world actually is.

 I have watched him grow into a smart little boy who makes my heart melt a little bit every time I see him. Maybe it’s just because I am so passionate about teaching and helping kids in specific that I am so affected by a two year old, but every time he learns something new from me even if it’s silly, I feel as if I am involved in his life. I always wanted to have a little brother or sister who I was so much older than to teach and play with, so he gives me that feeling. I am not this child’s care taker or parent like figure in the slightest bit and I don’t wish to have that title any time soon but the mere fact of it all is that I need to be a good influence on him that made me have the feeling of coming of age. I want to make smart decisions since he is so much younger and innocent; he can look up to me. I want him to use my mistakes and falling out periods in life to build his life up to be the best he can be. A lot of what I am feeling does not really take place now since two year olds don’t have to make life changing decisions but for his future. Only until later in my life did I ever have an older figure around besides my parents to guide me through the rough patches. I felt lost and sort of alone with only my mother to talk to. Thankfully, I received older people in my life who taught me so much and that’s all I ask to be in my cousin’s life. Even if it is just that shoulder to cry on once in a while, it makes me feel like I have impacted him just in the slightest.

            Coming of age is not always a clear as day experience but the day Thomas was born; I knew I had to be there for him. He teaches me things too about myself and how I can improve my flaws as a person. I think the true ideals of coming of age is when you feel you are needed by someone or put in a situation where you have to act maturely for sake of someone else. By becoming a godmother, this definitely placed me in that state of thinking and it changed me for the better. I feel that Thomas has a huge impact on me and my happiness and as a young adult I hope I can do the same.

My Story

When I was about nine, my mom remarried. She had been through a divorce, luckily a relatively smooth one and fell in love a few years later with my stepdad. My life changed immensely when four other people started sitting at the table for dinner, and staying the night in my room and couches. At first all the other people coming around made me so nervous. I was such a timid kid so I didn't make new friends that easily. I wanted to talk to my two new brothers and new sister but it felt like pulling teeth. I remember I was afraid that they would judge me for liking to read or playing with dolls because they were so into sports. I had never been into outdoor activities since my mom was too afraid I would get hurt. I was very sheltered as a kid and when I saw these kids getting thrown into the pool when I wouldn't even venture out past the stairs. I remember thinking they were the most foreign thing in my life. I couldn't even imagine riding a dirt bike or fishing for fun when you could get hurt. Arts and crafts seemed so much more appealing and safe for me. I still to this day do not live that kind of "tomboy life," but I have become a very different person from their influence. Having new siblings who were older than me really helped show me the ropes in life. I had always been the oldest child but now I am right in the middle of five. I know if I had always lived with just my sister and mother, I would not be who I am today. I used to cry whenever someone would pick on me for simple fun. I was too sensitive but thankfully from a little roughening up by my step family, I was just fine with a little fun and games. I am extremely thankful for my experience with a new family because I believe that if I didn't have them, I would have major social issues in school and every day life. Taking criticism is a part of life and without it you cannot improve. Having another family also gave me so many new friends. My big sister became my role model and she talked to me about her problems.  I believe her and her high school struggles helped me decide that helping people made me feel so good about myself. My little brother, only a year younger than me also was my partner in crime. We had so many laughs and luckily we still do. My oldest brother scared me for a while because he was so much bigger than me. He is six years older than me so I bet you could understand how I felt. He used to eat seven cookies at a time and that was just one of his snacks, I was convinced he was a giant or something crazy like that. Eventually I warmed up to him after pelting me with a giant snowball in the face and other disasters. I could not imagine my life without these people. This truly shows that everything happens for a reason, not everything came together immediately but now this is the best family I could have ever asked for. At the beginning of the divorce, I couldn’t imagine not living with my “perfect” family of four in the house but now I wouldn’t know what to do without my big family. This is the story I feel should be told simply because my family made me the person I am today and I want people to know that with troubled times, great things can come out of it.

My Safe Haven

After a long day at school and hours spent on homework, my whole family sits down for dinner at my dinner table. My mom's cooking aromas fill the air and the sound of pots and pans being picked up and placed on the large table in my dining room. Dinner at my house is not elegant in any way, with a usual messed up tablecloth probably from my brother's messy eating habits. The minute we sit down, laughter fills the entire room with everyone being themselves completely. We all tell each other about our days at either work or school, reflecting on our daily experiences. Being able to freely express myself after a long day at school being very quiet is really soothing. My family accepts me for who I truly am so when I sit down in my chair I feel like I don't have to hide my true identity. Everywhere else I go in my life like school and my job, I have to put on a mini show. I act to what my teachers and customers would want to see not how I want to be. Who doesn't conserve themselves in times of seriousness? It is never comfortable, I know that. Not being able to be yourself feels like there is a giant crowd of people watching your every move, judging you every second. When I walk through the doors of my house, I never have to worry about any of those obnoxious feelings.
        Another thing I love is that anyone who sits at my dinner table feels welcome and is treated like family. On the weekends, it is not rare to have many extra people sitting around my table. No matter who it is and what time of day, if my family and or friends are sitting down, roaring of laughter surrounds the room. Its an open place where everyone is free to say whatever they are thinking. I know for me, dinner time is when I tell my family what happened at school that day from the monstrous amounts of work I completed or the silly gossip that is spreading around school. I learn things about my family from this experience as well. I feel ten times closer to my family after we eat dinner. I consider myself to be pretty lucky that I still get to sit down with my family every night. Many families don't get to do this and I believe it makes you closer to your family. I couldn't imagine my life without considering I have done this since I was a baby.
       Maybe I like dinner time so much since I am a foodie. I think food is just a good conversation starter and something that makes everyone happy. I know it makes me feel good. When the taste of a home cooked meal floods my mouth, first of all, it's delicious and secondly, it's calming. The food and my family combined is a quick stress reliever. I can temporarily forget about everything that is attacking my brain making me feel slightly insane and just relax and more importantly, vent my feelings to them. I am so happy I get to have this tradition every night with my family and I hope one day when I have a family I can too make dinner a great atmosphere for them.

When I first saw this picture, I was appalled at how we create these totally unnatural body sizes in children's favorite toys such as the Barbie. I can recall playing with Barbies all of the time as a kid, dressing them up and playing with their hair. Barbies are role models to young kids on how to look. When we see a Barbie as a kid, we don't think of it then when we are playing, but our brains are slowly being brainwashed on how we should look. I have heard tremendous amounts of increased body image issues and I think it is safe to say that children who played with Barbies have them to blame. Every aspect of Barbies body is impossible and fake. No ones breasts could be that big when your torso can be squeezed together with your own hands. We all know it's fake and cannot be achieved but yet we all still strive to be a size 0 and 5'9''. When Barbie's proportions are put on this healthy girl, it disgusts me. Everyone's body types are different and for most of us being stick thin does not come naturally. All real people have curves and that should be okay. Social media and kid's toys are telling us to have "curves" by having our hip bones jut out and our ribs be totally visible through our skin. Barbie wears tons of makeup and has eyes that take up half of her face. We will never be able to have that. Even in advertisements, we widen women's eyes, lengthen their legs and thin out their waists. Nothing is natural anymore and its really sad. Barbie and other social media representations of girls bodies is increasing eating disorders, self esteem problems and even suicide. How can we let this happen and keep selling these brainwashing dolls? Barbie angers me and I hope by the time I have kids that Barbies will depict a natural and healthy woman for young girls to strive for.
http://www.divinecaroline.com/life-etc/momhood/negative-effects-barbie-young-girls-long-term-results

My Experience With Failure

 In elementary school, I experienced failure with a friend. This girl was my best friend or at least I thought she was. It all started in third grade when we met in class. We started hanging out many weekends and we got very close. Our friendship started out being so fun, we came up with fun names for each other and silly code names for our crushes in school. We never had a dull moment, since we were always giggling about something. As soon as I started making other friends, something changed. This girl started to get too close to me changing my views on my other friends. Her mom also was a little crazy, was in the plan to brainwash me so I thought this girl was the only “friend” I could trust. She told me that one of my best friends at the time was the “devils advocate.” I didn’t even know what it meant at the time so it left me very confused. My mom started to realize I was developing bad habits, ones that she had like acting devious and not being very confident in myself, problems I never suffered with. My mom warned me about her but how could my best friend be harming me? Every time I got relatively close to another person, she would tell me horrible things about them pushing me away. She wanted me all to herself. It took me 3 years to realize how crazy she was and finally I stood up to her. For so long, I was being brainwashed by a nasty girl. I consider this a failure because I was not able to realize how bad my friend was treating me. It was not in my nature to push people away and I let her control my life. If I could go back, I would change the way I acted to everyone else, including her. 
 http://www.themodernman.com/social/friendship/10_toxic_friends.html